When lies become your truth

I feel alone.
Alone or rather the lie of alone has caused me anxiety, panic, bitterness.
I fight against this daily.
I fight the lie but sometimes it becomes too much.

Like a fool I wouldn’t take this to God.
Too many times I show up before God with those words “I am alone” shackling my hands, my feet, breaking my back, choking my throat.

I convince myself God doesn’t want to hear this sad tale again.

Hey God? I believed that lie. Again. I know it’s not true, but it feels true. God, I like talking about you more than being with you. I know you know. So is this whole alone thing my punishment?

Lies. Lies will fuck you up. Ask anyone who struggles daily with a lie or ten lies. The truth may wreck you in a good way. But the lies will fuck you and leave you convinced this is the only reality.

What lie or lies do you daily battle? How do you fight back?

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  1. “you wasted your talent” “you’re too old” “no one will trust you to do the thing you’ve been called to do” “your financial choices in the past disqualify you from future ministry” i could go on forever. when i identify one that is particularly powerful, i have to find a scripture truth specific to that lie. i think the hardest part is actually recognizing the lie. they seem to lurk just beneath the level of awareness to do the most damage. that’s why it’s so important to have accountability relationships so they can call us on our repeating of the lie. in love of course. it’s not accountability if there’s a beating in it.

    1. Lisa,
      Thank you for being so real! I agree the hardest part is recognize the lie and calling it out. It loses its grip when we identify the lie. Accountability? Great point. I think satan likes to get us isolated with the lie.

      You are not wasting your talent. You are not too old. You are building trust and there are people who trust you implicitly. Your past does not dictate your future. Your past is past. Hang in there, friend!

  2. The lie is an abusive lover. Not only does it beat you up and leave you bleeding on the floor, but it convinces you it’s the only one that will ever love you and without it, you’re more alone then ever.

    “no one else will do it” “you have nothing to be depressed about” “you’re a shitty parent” “you’re not there enough for your family” ….like Lisa, I could go on forever. And the particular lie depends on the day.

    some days I fight back with encouragement from people I trust, sometimes the Word works (and if we’re being honest, sometimes it doesn’t), and some days I just curl up in a ball under a blanket and cry and wait it out. it’s persistent, but i’m stubborn. What a pair.

    1. Christine,
      Your first paragraph…whoa…I could sit on that for some time. You captured it exquisitely. It does convince you it’s the only one…UGH. I am honored you shared with me!

      I want to speak some truth to you: You are not alone. You do not have to do it all. It is okay to feel depressed – it doesn’t have to make sense. You aren’t a shitty parent. You love. You are there. You surround your children in authenticity and grace. You are enough.

  3. This is one of my weaknesses, and boy does Satan know it. I can hardly come up for air some days with the amount of lies being thrown at me. Most of the time, I can recognize lie from truth. Sometimes, it’s just easier to succumb to the lie, though. What a terrible way to live. Light, freedom, truth! That’s what I want more of!!!!

    1. Alone. I have a feeling satan uses this tactic with quite a few us, huh? I think recognizing the lie is so imperative and then calling it out. Oh, but succumbing to the lie – I know this well – why do we go that way? Do you think we secretly believe it with the tiniest bit of ourselves? Lies are such a trap – they are the antithesis of light, of freedom, of truth. Thank you for sharing Kellee! I love that you are calling the lies out and writing your way through. I love that you unequivocally share your heart and what is really going on. Hang in their precious girl! God sees you. God sees your family. You are not alone!

  4. I hear those lies too, but it’s hard not to recognize them and replace them with the truth – they’ve been there for so long they FEEL like the truth. Some days are better than others. The lie is an abusive lover – that sentence shook me. It’s really a perfect analogy. Thanks for the great post and the great responses as well!

    1. Thank you Lynette! I take great comfort in our airing of lies and trying to bring the lies into the light. It must be a two-step process: 1) recognize 2) replace. Take courage, friend!

  5. “You’re not good enough,” “You will never be free of cancer,” “You’re just a fraud,” and so on, and so on. Like Lynette said – they’ve been there so long they feel like the truth. They are often so loud in our head that they drown out God’s voice preventing us from hearing the REAL truth. I don’t go to God with the “little” things like my personal insecurities and such. For some reason, I don’t think they are important enough to him. I tend to pray about more tangible type things – jobs, health, family issues, etc.

    1. Rachel, thank you for sharing the lies you are battling. I wonder how God views the things we see as being little and something he doesn’t need to concern himself with.

      Rachel – You are enough. You are more than cancer or no cancer. You are His. You are real and true and authentic.

      I look forward to getting to know you, friend!

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