Comparisons break spirits.
I found myself surrounded by couples. Couples and more couples. With kids. Without kids.
I experienced tunnel vision: All I saw were happy, happy, living the dream married couples.
Under my breath, I muttered something about smug marrieds.
I suffocated in the noise of the kids, the adults. Sensory overload.
And yet I want the kids. I want the husband. I want the whole crazy package, but not now. Just someday.
I’m always surprised when this happens to me. I am overwhelmed with comparisons.
I know other people battle comparing so that’s why I’m sharing this (not for some sort of “oh let’s throw a pity party for keeksypoo”)
As a single girl, there are moments of stark aloneness.
If you live alone, you get this. You can go days without any meaningful interaction. Most of the time, I enjoy the quiet. I enjoy the little nest I’ve made. I enjoy going and doing and being purposeful. I have encouragement from so many. I know I am loved.
It’s just the alone can get to you. Sometimes.
The quiet house after a ridiculous, sensory overloaded environment seems too empty. (Yet so wonderful!)
The inability to talk over your day with anyone because it seems like the whole world is coupled up and kidded up.
Let me tell you what comparing will get you: a handful of nothing.
It colors you with insecurity about your own life.
It drapes your shoulders in grief.
It tints you in hues of green. Green with jealousy.
You can react and then you smell of desperation.
Comparing leads you to bitterness.
Comparing will send you into the bermuda triangle. Don’t get sucked in. Comparisons will destroy you.
So then what?
The answer is difficult and easy.
Let God reveal his perspective.
Give Him your insecurity.
Respond to God when He takes all those hurts, all those angers.
He knows you.
He knows me.
God will take those comparisons and transform it into something incomparable.
Trust His work. It is good. Very good.