“Quitter, me, and the Resistance” or “I am a Writer, Part 2”

There are a million excuses not to do this. To not meet the paper with the ink.

I am worrying about my schedule. How am I going to get it all done? What can I do to transition more easily? And the fear of writing new content for the blog? Ugh. I’m more paralyzed than excited.

What if I say too much? What if I fail? And what if I can’t stage a comeback from the failure?

I have to practice writing. I have to practice – that is a fact. I can’t just expect to do this perfectly without hiccups – this is an exercise.

I have to write and write and write. There isn’t a way not to do this. I’ve tried and been miserable. Writing is just my thing.

And when I deny this, oh man, I acquire a whole set of bad behaviors that are children of boredom and bitterness.

Only recently have I put together what was really going on.

The truth is when I’m doing the thing I’m meant to – despite the Resistance – I am so wholly me. I can’t understand why I ever left the writing.

Writing is what I do to unwind, vent, pray, gain objectivity and perspective, create, learn, try, fail, and exchange words with God – I love it. It’s who I am. Loads of people don’t know that about me. I’ve had a lifetime of being entertaining or moody and the writing kept getting pushed down and denied. Not anymore.

Author Jon Acuff said that if you weren’t willing to pursue your dream at 5 a.m. every day then maybe it’s not the right dream for you.

Ouch.

Just the kick-butt motivation this girl needs.

If I answer the question: Must I write? Then yes, yes, and hell yes.

I better get to hustling. At the Quitter Conference, Jon Acuff said the world desperately needs us to follow our dreams.

What does my hustle look like?

I’ve gone from wasting time to being more intentional. Baby steps. And it’s working. My excuses for not having time are fewer and farther between. I find time because I turn off the television. I choose to write instead of going to the movies. I take writing breaks instead of dinner breaks. I lose some sleep. I’m learning the value of sacrifice. I am sacrificing instant gratification and I am better for it. Who knew?

I don’t have a 100% success rate. And that’s no big whoo.

My success is defined as being intentional, making time, and doing the writing. Every day.

Those awful bad habits? Born out of boredom and bitterness? They don’t hold a candle to living my life with purpose and intention.

Where there is no vision [no redemptive revelation of God], the people perish; but he who keeps the law [of God, which includes that of man]–blessed (happy, fortunate, and enviable) is he.

Proverbs 29:18a (Amplified)

Advertisements

11 comments

  1. I couldn’t have expressed this better myself. I’m struggling with this, too. For me, though, it’s the outside forces that are making it difficult for me to be my ‘secret self.’ Sure, it’s great inspiration for writing, but it’s frustrating at the same time. I don’t like divorcing myself in the parking lot every morning, but it’s something I must do for now. I am; therefore I write.
    I’ll keep up with the 5 a.m. hustle if you will. 🙂

    1. It’s a pact! I will keep pressing forward and you do the same. Divorcing yourself is tough, right? This isn’t forever though. We are bridging the gap between the day job and dream!

  2. True, true, true. It is comforting knowing I’m not the only one who still finds it a struggle to, ironically, do the very thing I now I was created to do. I assume others have an easier time or something but I guess it comes down to more of a just do it thing. What if your craft involves so much emotion? Do statisticians have this problem? Guess that my mom was right, feelings are the caboose and your chosen thoughts are the engine. They’ll follow. Most of the battle is getting out of bed and settling the notion that even if your time spent didn’t produce what you thought it should IT WASN’T WASTED TIME! What if we all gave up growing tomatoes because it looked like nothing but dirt and a seed for so long (or if not a tomato lover insert desired consumptive item:). We must trust God in this, we do only what we can and He does only what He can. Sounds like He’s into relationship, huh?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s