It’s been one year.
One year since I had 12 inches of my hair cut off. Drove to work. And got fired. Sorry, I mean laid off. And I know it’s not personal (that’s what management kept reassuring me) – it’s just business.
It’s been one year since I sent out an infamous text to my close circle (“those fuckers just laid me off!”). And one year and thirty minutes later pulled up at my best friend’s home and within a few minutes we were on our way to pick up a dear friend and headed to Mamasita’s where we Cinco de Mayo’d our way into forgetfulness.
It’s been one year since I peeled myself off a cool tiled floor and answered my phone. It was Chris asking me to come over for dinner and hang with him. One year since he cooked and served me my favorites and encouraged me that everything was going to be just fine.
It’s been one year since I went from working for the Dark Tower and living in cubicle purgatory and working insane hours at two jobs just to make ends meet.
One year since my greatest fear was greeting me face to face: UNEMPLOYMENT.
This has been scary shit, ya’ll.
You know what I discovered?
God is still good.
And you know what getting laid of was personal. But God is bigger than some Dark Tower and cubicle hell.
My God is a God of personal and personnel.
God saved me by allowing me to fall.
He loved me so much he set me free from the direction that was causing all sorts of depression and stress and disconnectedness.
God loved me so much he let me suffer and sweat and in this turmoil I discovered new hope and a clarity I had been aching for.
Being laid off has had moments of excruciating pain but it did not kill me.
Instead I found passion and joy and energy.
And even in my doubts
God has ordered my steps and He is a good God.
No matter what.
No matter circumstances.
Or outward criticisms.
Or extreme doubts.
No matter what God is a good and faithful God.