generic generic GERIATRIC generic

Why?! Why?!! Why?! It’s taken me two days to recover from the meanest, rudest, old geezer’s horrible comments. And I’m mad at myself for letting this little decrepit spiteful creature get under my skin.

Are you hooked?

Scenario:
Your local library. It’s Monday. Morning.

Characters:
Me (charming, delightful, cheerful girl) & Mother Heifer (mean old man)

Story:
Mother Heifer walks up to front desk and throws his books towards me. (No exaggeration–he ALWAYS throws his books towards us) I smile. Check in his returns as he wonders off. Still smiling.

Time passes. Mother Heifer walks back up front with new set of items. Tosses them at me. I ask: How are you today, sir? Mother Heifer grunts as he shuffles through his wallet. I clear my throat. Straighten his stack of books. Prepare to scan his card, his items, his eyebrows. Finally. Throws his library card at me and says LOUDLY: “Why do you always wait on me?! Where are all the pretty ladies? Why is it always you who checks me out?”

He chuckles. I. glaze. over. Smile wavers and steam rises from my ears. He chuckles again and says: “WHY DO YOU ALWAYS WAIT ON ME? WHERE ARE ALL THE PRETTY LADIES?”

He said it again. The Mother Heifer said it two times. As if the first time wasn’t difficult enough.

I smile. “Sir, I don’t know. Have a great day.” Still smiling. Walk into the backroom. And die a thousand little deaths.

Stupid Mother Heifer.

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10 comments

  1. Okay. Screw the Patriot Act. Where does he live? I’m gonna go find him and kick him in the junk…twice. (Am I gonna get in trouble for saying ‘screw the patriot act’)

    1. I just found this post from forever ago and published it! I laughed so hard because that was the most awkward situation. Ever.

      Yes, please kick him in the junk!

  2. People can be mean. Sometimes old people think they have the right to say and do what they please. Where did manners go? People always claim “young” people have no respect for their elders …. Case in point why should you expect respect if you dont give out??

  3. Okay, my first thought was to come up with a reaction that would be equally embarrassing to him — something like bursting in tears and reach across the counter for him while sobbing, “BUT ALL I EVER WANTED IS FOR YOU TO LOVE ME! PLEASE, PLEASE LOVE, OR I’LL DIE!!!”

    But kicking him in junk is good alternative too. 🙂

  4. The world is full of “old farts”. You did good to just smile and be nice. Especially the smile. That infuriates them, because they think you know something they don’t. Keep up your stories. This nice little old “GG” thinks you are the “cat’s meow”, whatever that is. LOL

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